On Anger
Holding on to anger is like taking poison and waiting for someone else to die(courtesy writer)
Things not to do when we are angry:
* Holding to anger
* Shouting and screaming as a habit
* Saying things that we are going to regret later
* Plotting against another
* Imagining, interpreting and assuming things
* Passing on the anger in the pecking order of hierarchy at workplace or home
* Talking behind someone's back or complaining
* Holding another responsible for one's anger although the other person could be a trigger for anger owing his/her nature.
How to help ourselves and others in such situations:
*Avoid thought processes which are negative.
*Avoid being around people who constantly complain( are habituated fault finders)- ignore the behaviour and not the person.
* Under unavoidable circumstances where you cannot avoid a person's presence, remember that their anger most of the times is not about you but a reflection of themselves. Do not feel guilty or hold yourself responsible for their emotions unless you have wronged them.
* Be brave enough to say sorry. Nothing shameful about saying sorry.
* Be there for your kith and kin when they are angry - a hug helps sometimes.
*Ask for a hug when you are angry- that helps too :)
* Attempt your best to resolve situations but in cases where things get heated up, walk away temporarily and wait until everything has calmed down.
* Choose love over ego as the first option- Put your ego into the dustbin when it comes to relatives and friends. When that doesn't work despite your being your most positive self enough number of times, silence helps. Walk away if required. Things get sorted out sooner or later.
*Adopt the practice of letting the other person who triggered the anger know that some action of his/hers has hurt you. The best time to do that is when the incident happens. Many a time, misunderstandings and misinterpretations are the cause for disharmony and disputes.
* Learn from your mistakes. Habit is a consistent way of being. Ignore the behaviour of perpetually angry people. They will calm down eventually and be their normal selves.
* Sometimes, it is a sad or hurt person who gets angry. Try identifying the root cause for the anger through desirable means and avoid situations which trigger the same in them.
*Distraction works. Do what you enjoy doing(hobby) when you get angry.
*Punch a pillow to take your anger out.
*Don't bring up past stories or incidents to link to the recent incident and create angry volcanic eruptions. Settle differences or misunderstandings on the spot.
*Always remember that no one is perfect. It is easy to find another's fault but difficult to identify one's own mistakes.
*Be open to constructive criticism but choose the person who you want to take it from. There are lots of "free advice givers" in this world but choosing your well-wishers is your choice.
*You are not responsible for the burden of the world- you can only help relieve a little bit of it as a well-wisher. Choose your people and paths wisely...sometimes, there are parasites who could use you to their benefit.
* We all make mistakes-let it be and let it go- this usually works in most of the cases.
*If the other person is a good and understanding friend, they would understand and if you are a good one, you will :)
Things not to do when we are angry:
* Holding to anger
* Shouting and screaming as a habit
* Saying things that we are going to regret later
* Plotting against another
* Imagining, interpreting and assuming things
* Passing on the anger in the pecking order of hierarchy at workplace or home
* Talking behind someone's back or complaining
* Holding another responsible for one's anger although the other person could be a trigger for anger owing his/her nature.
How to help ourselves and others in such situations:
*Avoid thought processes which are negative.
*Avoid being around people who constantly complain( are habituated fault finders)- ignore the behaviour and not the person.
* Under unavoidable circumstances where you cannot avoid a person's presence, remember that their anger most of the times is not about you but a reflection of themselves. Do not feel guilty or hold yourself responsible for their emotions unless you have wronged them.
* Be brave enough to say sorry. Nothing shameful about saying sorry.
* Be there for your kith and kin when they are angry - a hug helps sometimes.
*Ask for a hug when you are angry- that helps too :)
* Attempt your best to resolve situations but in cases where things get heated up, walk away temporarily and wait until everything has calmed down.
* Choose love over ego as the first option- Put your ego into the dustbin when it comes to relatives and friends. When that doesn't work despite your being your most positive self enough number of times, silence helps. Walk away if required. Things get sorted out sooner or later.
*Adopt the practice of letting the other person who triggered the anger know that some action of his/hers has hurt you. The best time to do that is when the incident happens. Many a time, misunderstandings and misinterpretations are the cause for disharmony and disputes.
* Learn from your mistakes. Habit is a consistent way of being. Ignore the behaviour of perpetually angry people. They will calm down eventually and be their normal selves.
* Sometimes, it is a sad or hurt person who gets angry. Try identifying the root cause for the anger through desirable means and avoid situations which trigger the same in them.
*Distraction works. Do what you enjoy doing(hobby) when you get angry.
*Punch a pillow to take your anger out.
*Don't bring up past stories or incidents to link to the recent incident and create angry volcanic eruptions. Settle differences or misunderstandings on the spot.
*Always remember that no one is perfect. It is easy to find another's fault but difficult to identify one's own mistakes.
*Be open to constructive criticism but choose the person who you want to take it from. There are lots of "free advice givers" in this world but choosing your well-wishers is your choice.
*You are not responsible for the burden of the world- you can only help relieve a little bit of it as a well-wisher. Choose your people and paths wisely...sometimes, there are parasites who could use you to their benefit.
* We all make mistakes-let it be and let it go- this usually works in most of the cases.
*If the other person is a good and understanding friend, they would understand and if you are a good one, you will :)
posted by Reshma at 9:41 PM
0 comments
